Monsters with Money
by Caster of Chaos
Summary: Isaac and company mug some monsters and Isaac hordes the money! Will he escape from jail and Mia's wrath?


Caster of Chaos: Hello! This is my first fic, so don't be completely evil! (Sorta evil is fine.)

Monsters with Money

By Caster of Chaos

Disclaimer: Golden Sun does not belong to me. It belongs to Camelot. Obviously. When you start up the game, what do you see? Yes. Camelot. I also don't own Jello, the brand name, but I might own a package or two.

By the way, (blahblahblah) after the Slime bubbling is a translation.

'blahblahblah' is thinking, while "blahblahblah" is talking.

It was a normal day in the forests near Xian. Well, almost normal. An Orc walked towards the city, accompanied by a Slime and an Amaze (the ghost-like monster found in Sol Sanctum).

"Hey, Slime!" the Orc called, tossing a clinking bag in the air. "How many coins do you think we made defeating those travelers?" (Hey, if you make money off of monsters, can't they get some from you?)

The Slime looked at the bag and bubbled, "Bwerjiewojeiurop!" (854 coins, I reckon!)

"Ah. Well, that should be enough from me to get some armor, Amaze to get… whatever Amazes need, and for you to get..." The Orc thought hard about what a moving pile of Jell-O needed. "…mud?"

The Slime looked, if possible, murderous. "Bwkjoiawfoijhaepwej! Seheiowpa? Whtwateiwoahejg… fweghuipa." (Stupid, there's mud all over the place! Plus, what kind of human would sell mud? What I really need is… a lawyer.) (A/N: From now on, I'm just writing in what the Slime says.)

"A lawyer?" asked the Amaze, incredulous. "Why a lawyer?"

Just then, their conversation was cut short when a cry of "Look! Monsters!" came from their left. All three monsters turned to look at the interruption: four people with various weaponry in their hands burst from the bushes. One had blonde hair, one tall with tall red hair, one shorter, and a girl with blue hair and eyes, wearing blue robes, and holding a blue staff.

"Who are you calling monsters?" asked the Orc.

"You," countered the tall blonde. "CHAAAARRGE!" he yelled, holding his blade and dashing at the Orc.

"Hey! What are you attacking us fo—" The Amaze's question was cut short by the flames erupting underneath it as Garet called "Volcano!" The Amaze's flickering form thudded on the grass. Ivan and Mia were braining the Slime with their staves, effectively knocking it out. It melted into a puddle of slop.

Isaac had a harder time, as the Orc had better armor than all of them. As he slashed at the Orc, it blocked it with his shield. Isaac felt his Elven Rapier humming. He strained his ears. "What the… Bach's fifth invention? O.O"

"Vorpal Slash!" he called and a streaking green line from the blade slammed into the Orc's chest. "Victory!" he was going to call to the others, who were trying to make the Slime disappear when he noticed the bag of coins on the ground. 'Hehehehe… I'll just keep these for myself, shall I?' He tucked the bag into his pouch and straightened up. "The Orc didn't drop anything," he lied, turning to the others.

"Oh. Well, I guess we'll deposit this herb from the Amaze in Ivan's pack," said Mia. Within a half hour, they had left the monsters.

Five hours later…

"Unghh… What happened?" groaned the Orc. He felt lighter than before. "Holy (censored)! Our money's gone! They must have taken it!" it exclaimed.

"Let's get revenge," said the Amaze. "But… since they're too strong, we need another tactic."

"I have an idea!" burbled the Slime.

In Xian…

"I see… They mugged you and ran?" asked a man.

"Yes. We were doing perfectly legal things, just walking in a forest towards here to buy some items," answered the Amaze.

"And there were four of them, with a variety of hair colors?"

"Yes, all with weapons. Undoubtedly they used them for other hit-and-run jobs, too." The slime quivered with anger.

"Yes, and—" The Orc stopped as he stared out the window. "That's them!"

"Right!" and "Yeah!" were heard from the monsters.

"Okay, I'm calling the enforcers of the law." The lawyer picked up a whistle and blew on it. The shrill sound drifted over to the "police station": Master Feh's school of Martial Arts. The door opened immediately and six trainees dashed to the scene. The lawyer (let's call him Fred) quickly explained everything.

"You are under arrest for attacking these three," said the leader, pointing to the monsters.

"WHAT?!?!?!" screamed the four Adepts. "We've done this millions of times before, and no one ever accused us!" protested Ivan.

A silence fell over the martial artists. "I see… millions of times… never accused…" muttered one of them, writing something on a notepad. "The confession is written in full. Now, just hand over the money and your sentence will be lowered by three weeks."

"What money?" asked Garet, Ivan, and Mia in unison. Isaac coughed. "Oh. Um, well… you see…" he said nervously, "I… Oh, never mind."

"ISAAAAACC!!!!!!" the other Adepts bellowed. "GIVE THAT MONEY TO THEM NOW!" He finally dropped the money in front of the monsters after they all received three extra months in jail.

Three days later…

"Ooohh… Isaac's gonna get it!" muttered Mia as she slipped the kitchen knife into her hands. Furious that they all had more time in jail, she was planning to maim him and make his stay really miserable. She snuck over to Isaac's corner of the cell (all four were in a large cell) and prodded him to make sure he was asleep. Sure enough, he was snoring loudly. Ivan and Garet, helping Mia, brought her the bandage.

"Here, Mia. We want him to be tortured before bleeding to death," Ivan whispered.

"Thanks." Mia prodded Isaac again, but there was an audible clink as a bulging bag fell out of Isaac's cloak. Ivan opened it: over 1,000 coins spilled out on the floor.

The three adepts froze. "AAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Caster of Chaos: Like it? Okay, maybe not. Review, please! And, yes, you can flame, but I'd appreciate it if you tell me what you don't like. Anyway, flames add to the number of reviews! Yes, I know, sad. But hey. Review!


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